Help me, Grammar-Wan-Kenobi

[astri13]

This is embarrassing but I figure better now than after the fact. I`m doing a little experiment and writing a fic in present tense so now I`m at a bit of a loss. Writing about past actions when do I use simple past and when do I use the "had done..." version? Anyone? Bueller?

Comments

[astri13.livejournal.com]

Ah, thank you. Mostly I go by feeling aka what "sounds good" in English but with grammar it can be tricky.

Had + verb = One action in the past with a definite beginning and ending. Such as: "I had walked to the store, but it was closed."

So if someone was doing something right now that I write in present tense and their thoughts featured a recollection of a past event, one that is definitely finished I`d use the "he had done so and so"?

And then of course there is past dialogue. *drops dead*

What I never really know what to do with things that "linger", like feelings. Say if I want to establish that person A had a certain effect on person B they would presumably still have, only A and B currently don`t interact so it`s all technically in the past.

Sorry for the grammar bombardment. *g*

[kentawolf.livejournal.com]

So if someone was doing something right now that I write in present tense and their thoughts featured a recollection of a past event, one that is definitely finished I`d use the "he had done so and so"?

If it is the character recollecting without a flashback, yes. But it is even best to leave it out then for effective, clean writing, and just use past tense. You can indicate it was a past event by phrases, such as "remembered." Such as: "As he washed the dishes, he remembered when he went to brunch every Sunday after church." (*reminds self to make examples that make sense*) If that seems too "not-subtle", it is. It's this finesse of writing so the audience knows what time they're reading about.

And then of course there is past dialogue. *drops dead*

If it's direct quoting/dialogue, it's iffy. It depends on how you bracket/bookend it with narration or other dialogue:
He stared at the cliff-edge of the water-hole. "I told you it was dangerous," he had said.
I love you, he had said.
I love you, he said once.

What I never really know what to do with things that "linger", like feelings. Say if I want to establish that person A had a certain effect on person B they would presumably still have, only A and B currently don`t interact so it`s all technically in the past.

Yes, you can use "had/have" for this. Such as: "He had fallen for her/him/shim." However, this feels like the definite past event that may not still be true. Again, it is best to cut the "to be" verb: "He fell for her/him/shim." See how it feels more "lingering"? The audience immediately will ask questions in their heads, like: "Is he still in love?" Because the "had fallen," carries with it the connotation that it is an isolated event in the past, with a definite beginning AND END.

ARGH. Just send whatever to me and I'll edit with you.

[astri13.livejournal.com]

ARGH. Just send whatever to me and I'll edit with you.

Hee. *roped in* I could send you my beginning so you can see what my screw-y brain is trying to get across and in turn my screw-y brain can figure out the underlying principle of the thing. :)