If you want something really, really bad...

Not being into Twilight, I only got the whole Fifty Shades of Grey sheananigans on the side. So, it started out as an - obviously AU - Twilight fanfic which the author later slightly rewrote (as in the names) and published. From the summary I got, it could have been (and probably was for some) an AU for any other het fandom.

Yesterday, I stumbled over an excerpt of it. And oh boy. Thing is, I have been in fandom for a while now and as such I have read bdsm in various forms as well. There are certain kinks I like but usually submission in specific forms is not it. And from what I saw, I have read this story as well. Not this particular one of course but enough fics that were close. In the end, it's not so different than several Buffy/Angelus fics I read once upon a time (and they were better written, too) or a certain SPN vampire "epic" with bad porn dialogue. Not particularly well-written, clichéd and the stuff that is okay for sex fantasies but would need a better effort to put it into the story (narrative, characters etc). By fic standards of "brave", I'd consider it outdated.

I find it fascinating, though, that FSOG rose to bestsellers lists like that. What is the appeal? I have read lots of bodice rippers in my youth. Granted, nothing truly BDSM. And before I got into online fandom and fanfic, I could probably be described as more "sheltered" as to certain themes. :) But this couldn`t have been the first lightly S/M sex book ever written, could it? Does it truly count as daring and fresh to non-fanfic readers? Is fanfic twenty years forward of its time? I feel so avant-garde now. Hee.

Also, they are making the novel into a movie? I was too lazy to research further but, like a TV movie? Or one to be realesed in movie theaters? Because how on Earth can this be anything but PG18? Besides, a cinematic movie about BDSM sex? HBO, sure, but mainstream? Unless they sanitize it and then it will have even less of a point. Eh, I`d probably watch it, too, as long as they actually put a hot guy in the supposed "most alluring dude ever" main role. Because let me tell you, that was a major stumbling block for me on Twilight.

In the interest of being truly OCD, I present:




( Drabbles and One Shots )

( Flashfics )

( Multiparter )




( One Shots )

I'm lemminging this from legoline but again, if all the cool kids are introducing their spn_j2_bigbang stories this year, I feel compelled to do it, too. Ahem.

Anyway, I'm boldly going where I have never gone before: Wincest. Of course you're now probably thinking "haven't I read this same fic like a hundred times already?" but I'm hoping to give it enough of a twist that people won't mind a hundred and one times. *g*


Author: astri13
Artist: mithborien
Title: The Man of his Dreams
Characters/Pairing: Sam/Dean, Bobby, Castiel, Pamela
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, Slash,

Summary: When Sam Winchester, only son of obsessive hunter-legend John Winchester, meets young firefighter Dean Collins on a hunt, his interest is piqued for Dean reminds him of the imaginary friend Sam has never quite outgrown: a freckled, little boy with striking green eyes who would appear to Sam as nothing more than a vision for all his life. But Dean harbours some secrets of his own and might not be as normal himself as he appears on the outside. Will their budding relationship be strong enough to survive the forces of Heaven and Hell trying to finish what they started over twenty years ago?

Meet the loser who didn't get around to start her Bigbang draft - due today with no less than 20.000 words - last Sunday. Yesterday when I got home from work, I was at 9.000 words and despairing. This lovely Friday afternoon I'm looking loud and proud at 20.307 words (and still counting a little bit). Granted, it's gibberish and if someone would actually read that, they'd probably adivce me to break my typing fingers but it is a turn-in-able draft. Yay.

Now look forward to the editing process from hell. Hopefully my posting date will be way at the end of the schedule. *crosses fingers*

Anybody knows if there is a book anthology for J2 like the "Shotguns and Saltlines" for Gen or the Slash Vol1+2 edition? I remember ages ago there was something organized about doing an RPS version - I think they had chosen a cover and everything but were still looking for submissions - but never knew what became of it. Anybody? Bueller?

I thought it was a neat idea and it would be kinda cool to have one in "real" book form for all the big sectors of fanfic.

For anybody who doesn't yet know about it/has forgotten/is unsure about participating, it's time for another *drumroll*



Last year I chickened out on writing my first real Wincest, this time I'm committed to the cause. I already have it plotted and everything. We'll see how that turns out. And God help us all. *g*

Hope everybody had a nice Christmas. I ate way too much which resulted in my lounging Jabba the Hut-like on the sofa for most of the time. Oh shape, why haveth you forsaken me? I think all in all I was a bit too lazy this year for my own liking. Even, or especially, writing-wise, I was much less proficient than I wanted to be.

Actual tally of 2008: 2 multi-chaptered J2 fics (both challenge-related); a little J2 vignette; 8 SPN short fics; 6 Merlin short/middle length fics

For a whole year's time that is a sobering result. *sniff* Something that I hope to remedy next year with a renewed writing passion. For starters, apart from the long promised sequel fics *cough*, I am signed up for whenboymeetsboy where I'll hope to produce a J2 version of "Ten Things I Hate About You". We'll see how it goes with prompt snatching over on j2_everafter in January but I kind of have my heart set on a crazy idea of "Beauty and the Beast."

Also have every intention of doing spn_j2_bigbang this year and beyond that we'll see. Should cover the first half of the year nicely. I'd love to do spn_harlequin but I'm not sure they'll ever do another round. Apart from that I'll be on the look-out for other challenges. At least with those I'll reasonably try to make deadlines. *cough*

Of course, I'm not abandoning Merlin fic either. At least there I'll have plenty hiatus time. *headdesk*

And on the other side, I'll try to be better about commenting, too. Right now I'm a devoted lurker to a couple authors who deserve better than that. *sigh*

So far, the planning, folks. Now we'll see about execution.

Yes, you're seeing that right. I wrote fic for the episode I JUST finished watching. *g*

Title: A Kiss is still a Kiss
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: PG-13, pre-to-mild-slash
Wordcount: ~ 500
Warnings: SPOILERS for episode 7
Summary: Deleted scene from the newest episode. :)

( A Kiss is still a Kiss )

It never, ever ends. :)

Title: Special
Rating: PG-13
Genre/Pairing: Arthur/Merlin, pre-to-mild slash
Wordcount: ~ 1.200
Disclaimer: Don't own anything
A/N: Slight spoilers for "Poisoned Chalice". Mucho thanks again to nachekana for the beta.

Summary: Protective Arthur, nuff said.


( Special )

Two in one day, stop me. :)

Title: Comfort
Author: astri
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~ 1.000
A/N: Now moving on from emo-porn to some mild slash. :) Many thanks to nachekana for a super-speedy beta and encouragement

Summary: The Aftermath of "Whipping Boy". The punishment is over, what happens now?

( Comfort )