Ficlet: Seventeen Strokes

[astri13]

Title: Seventeen Strokes
Author: astri13
Genre/Rating: Gen, PG-13
A/N: 240 words chock full of Dean-angst
Summary: Sometimes we speak louder in actions than in words.





Seventeen Strokes

One

Sam has left but his words keep ringing in Dean's mind. His little brother bared his heart to him and Dean…Dean couldn't give him anything in return. Not comfort, not encouragement, not absolution from his guilt, not even a bad joke. That's a first.

Two

Why did you leave me? It was me, I was supposed to die. This time and the one before. It was me, damnit.

Three

Why did you tell me this? And why not more? I know you knew more. I could see it in your eyes. Why did you not tell me?

Four

It doesn't matter...I'll never hurt him. You hear me, you bastard? Never.

Five

I hate you.

Six

If I could, I'd kill you myself.

Seven

Please come back.

Eight

Please help me. I can't do this alone.

Nine

I don't want to.

Ten

You’ll never know, Sammy. I'll never tell you that your own father…that he even considered…You'll never know.

Eleven

You were so small back then, Sammy. And you wriggled.

Twelve

He put you in my arms.

Thirteen

He put you in my arms, and I never gave you back.

Fourteen

He told me to take care of you.

Fifteen

And I will. I will save you.

Sixteen

I'm sorry, baby, just one more.

Seventeen


Finally, the crowbar slips from his fingers, and Dean slumps next to the Impala. He never said a word. It's not time yet.