I was just rereading the chapter, and thought I'd come back and list some of my favorite parts:
"But then you know that already. As I know you must burn with questions." Putting a slightly trembling hand under Jen's chin, Jaret tilted up Jen's face so their eyes met. "Why the sudden coyness?
"It is not my place." Jen tried to evade.
This time Jaret's laugh sounded truly amused. "This is new."
Jen sighed, sitting back on his haunches. "Do you wish me to ask?"
That's all great. I love Jaret lifting Jen's chin so he has to meet his eyes, and his amusement over Jen's protesting it's not his place. And the last line, with Jen sitting back on his haunches. I can just see that so clearly.
I also liked how you had Jen not really wanting to hear the story of Jaret's captivity because he didn't want it to make him sympathize with the other man, or feel closer to him. He wanted to be able to keep his distance, emotionally.
Also liked this passage:
Now Jaret's eyes opened again and he looked at Jen wistfully. "She had eyes like you, the same emerald colour as yours. Gentle and sweet they were as yours." Then his mouth became a bitter line. "Not in the end though."
That conveys so much in just a few sentences.
I was also very happy to see Jen be allowed to walk along side Jaret's horse, rather than shackled, like the other members of his tribe. But my heart ached for him when he saw two of his people throwing him angry looks over Jaret's favor of him. You know that's what would happen, though.
And I love the section where Jaret tells Jen he's not going to sell him, and Jen keeps coming up with reasons why he can't just keep him. Even suggesting that he might just kill him in his sleep (which Jaret just laughs off). That's all great.
And this was very insightful and evocative:
For some reason seeing Jaret's scars had let Jen to believe that he could convince Jaret of the wrongness of his actions. It was like Jen had spotted a wound or a broken bone on the other man that given enough time or effort Jen would be able to reach, to mend, heal. It had called out to him as a healer.
But now he saw that it had been a foolish hope. Jaret was lost and he had been lost long since before Jen had met him. What had been broken had long since been grown together, badly and crooked but nevertheless in a way that didn't leave a healer with anything else to do. He simply didn't have enough knowledge to change it. An overwhelming wave of disappointment hit Jen, making him slump where he sat.
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Re: Brava!
Date: 2007-12-16 04:10 pm (UTC)"But then you know that already. As I know you must burn with questions." Putting a slightly trembling hand under Jen's chin, Jaret tilted up Jen's face so their eyes met. "Why the sudden coyness?
"It is not my place." Jen tried to evade.
This time Jaret's laugh sounded truly amused. "This is new."
Jen sighed, sitting back on his haunches. "Do you wish me to ask?"
That's all great. I love Jaret lifting Jen's chin so he has to meet his eyes, and his amusement over Jen's protesting it's not his place. And the last line, with Jen sitting back on his haunches. I can just see that so clearly.
I also liked how you had Jen not really wanting to hear the story of Jaret's captivity because he didn't want it to make him sympathize with the other man, or feel closer to him. He wanted to be able to keep his distance, emotionally.
Also liked this passage:
Now Jaret's eyes opened again and he looked at Jen wistfully. "She had eyes like you, the same emerald colour as yours. Gentle and sweet they were as yours." Then his mouth became a bitter line. "Not in the end though."
That conveys so much in just a few sentences.
I was also very happy to see Jen be allowed to walk along side Jaret's horse, rather than shackled, like the other members of his tribe. But my heart ached for him when he saw two of his people throwing him angry looks over Jaret's favor of him. You know that's what would happen, though.
And I love the section where Jaret tells Jen he's not going to sell him, and Jen keeps coming up with reasons why he can't just keep him. Even suggesting that he might just kill him in his sleep (which Jaret just laughs off). That's all great.
And this was very insightful and evocative:
For some reason seeing Jaret's scars had let Jen to believe that he could convince Jaret of the wrongness of his actions. It was like Jen had spotted a wound or a broken bone on the other man that given enough time or effort Jen would be able to reach, to mend, heal. It had called out to him as a healer.
But now he saw that it had been a foolish hope. Jaret was lost and he had been lost long since before Jen had met him. What had been broken had long since been grown together, badly and crooked but nevertheless in a way that didn't leave a healer with anything else to do. He simply didn't have enough knowledge to change it. An overwhelming wave of disappointment hit Jen, making him slump where he sat.